I think I have learned that guys will say ANYTHING to keep from hurting a girl. And it’s our jobs to interpret it and respect ourselves enough to not put up with anything less than what we deserve. It’s a pattern with me…I’m told, “You’re my dream girl. I’m not interested in anyone but you. But I think you deserve better than I can give you right now… our timing is off” more times than I care to admit. I want to believe that statement but how can I?! It sounds like a very polite way of getting rid of me. If I say, “It’s okay. I’ll take whatever you can give me,” how can I expect the guy to respect me if I show so little respect to myself? I think they want me to say, “You’re right I deserve more. Thank you for being honest with me. I want to remain friends.” Why can’t a guy just say “Hey…sorry to tell you but I don’t like you enough to give it my all,” that’s really what it’s about right?? I’m not their dream girl! It’s funny because I know of guys who would do anything for me. Guys who would love to have the chance to date me and show me what I’m worth. Why don’t I ever give those guys a chance?? Maybe they’re not bold and assertive enough for me, I don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t like being the one to be forced to be the “bad guy” and end things yet this is always what I have to end up doing. Are men that “cowardly” that they can’t be honest with me? Instead I feel they say things to make it seem like they’re nice and honest and are doing me a favor but telling me how great and wonderful I am and polite to give me the choice of what I want. This is such bullshit to me. Maybe because I’ve heard it so many times that I don’t know what or who to believe anymore! Is it a control issue that guys have? They only want me if it’s on their terms?? And if so, that doesn’t seem very respectful to me. I mean, I must be doing something wrong as a girlfriend. I’m not sure what it is though because all I’m ever told is how great I am! How am I supposed to improve if people won’t tell me what it is I do wrong?! I am just trying to understand better why I always find myself in the same situation time and time again. What do you guys think? I am really bad at reading between the lines because the way I conduct myself, people don’t have to do that with things I say so I don't know how to do it with them.
I'm not badmouthing or exposing anyone here either. I'm just trying to understand myself better, that's all. I'd appreciate comments to show the same consideration.
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my thought would be more cowardice than anything else...eh, if they can't commit who needs 'em anyway! Ha! ;0)
ReplyDeleteI think you need to Keep in mind that many folks are terrified of the truth, and being that YOU are not fearful of it or frightened to speak it may be intimidating to many. I obviously don't know your situations or the guys, but I do know you, and you have a beautiful intensity about you - in everything you do. Dating, boxing, jogging or yoga - when you do something - you are either all the way in or all the way out. Maybe they're afraid of that. And better you find out early on, I say!! You'll find your uncle pervie - Some day :) <3 ~Kara
ReplyDeleteOk - sorry if I rambled ... Love you!!! Your Uncle Pervie is out there somewhere :@
Cousin-
ReplyDeleteGuys are a lot more simple than you are making them out to be. Every one of the guys that have phraised the above "cop-outs" to you on their way out were douches from the get go, you just haven't trained your eyes to see it yet. STOP staying friends with all these punks, first off! I feel this repetitive behavior only contributes to a persons lack of self adequacy. Having to be around or continue communication on a regular basis with dudes that have posed on you is better than any of them deserve. CLEAN THE SLATE COUSIN! Start fresh! Try starting a relationship completely on YOUR terms. When I say "guys are simple" I mean it.. All you have to do is make him play his game so long he forgets whos tail he is chasing and ends up really in all honesty just wanting YOU! Its as simple as that! Hard to get is the most underplayed, underappreciated cliche out there. You want respect from any guy? Make him earn yours! You may go through a couple more posers but they will weed themselves out quicker and you will NOT be emotionally scared in the process. Sooner than you think a REAL man will reveal himself ! We need to talk in person....I have some more for ya! Love ya cousin! Every time I read this stuff I want to go beat some dudes ass! Call ME! >>Andrew