YOU

I’m usually very respectful, forgiving, and I always take the high road. This is not easy to do either but it’s who I am. I try to be the best possible person I can be to others even if they don’t deserve it. Well, there are moments in life when I really just want to curse and scream and hurt the people who have hurt me so badly. I mean, I don’t really want to do these things but sometimes my past creeps into my present and causes toxic reactions. This angers me and causes me to want to get it out somehow so…

Fuck YOU for cheating on me when I would have bet my life that you never would have done that to me. Fuck YOU for seeing an insecure woman and taking advantage of me in every way…breaking me down even further and making it near impossible to make the improvements I tried so desperately to make. Fuck YOU for promising me so much to just rip it all away one day because you couldn’t hang. Fuck YOU for taking advantage of me that Christmas Eve night when I had nowhere to run, no one to turn to. Fuck YOU for making me feel safe and secure and then laughing in my face as you walked away. Fuck YOU for having me to just run away, drink away, not give a shit away when I needed you most. Fuck YOU for filling my head with nonsense that has given me a complex my whole life. Fuck YOU for never telling me my worth so I had to struggle so much to find it. Fuck YOU for making me feel like I am difficult to love. Fuck YOU for never teaching me what pride is, what satisfaction is, what being happy is and what true love is.

And fuck ME for allowing YOU to treat me these ways and for allowing it to affect me still.