The television show Ally McBeal of all horrific things got me thinking this weekend. I started watching the series on Netflix out of sheer boredom and there is one episode that has stuck out to me and got my wheels turning. It is episode six from season one: The Promise. The gist of the part that intrigued me is as follows:
Ally gives mouth to mouth to an overweight male attorney who passes out and she ends up saving his life. His fiancé later stops by Ally’s law firm to thank her for saving the man who has forever given her hope and happiness. The man later stops by and asks Ally if a woman like her could ever fall for a man like him. He explains that although he loves his fiancé very much, she doesn’t make his heart “bounce”. He worries that he’s marrying the only instead of the one and only. He asks for Ally’s advice and she explains that he should marry someone who makes his heart bounce and to not settle. Angered, the fiancé ends up going back to Ally to inform her that he called the wedding off. She expressed that people like them (overweight and less attractive) don’t get many chances and that marrying their only is the one chance they get. She expressed that since choices are limited, waiting for the one and only might not happen. The fiancé convinced her that some people aren’t worthy of holding out for the right one. So Ally ends up convincing the man to marry his fiancé after all because she couldn’t think of any of her friends who would date him based on his size alone and others probably wouldn't either. He ends up marrying the woman and supposedly they end up happily ever after. Ugh.
There were a few things that struck me as odd. First of all, I agreed with Ally’s original advice that he should marry someone he’s in love with and not just someone he loves and someone who is convenient. I say “don’t ever settle!” all the time and truly believe this. But what about people who rarely, if ever, get hit on? Those who don’t get the opportunity to “date around” and see what’s out there? What about those people? The fiancé had me briefly convinced that she was right…people like her and him should go for companionship and convenience over being in love. Just because some people date very easily and often doesn’t mean that others do which would make it even harder to find “the one”. But then I realized that is bullshit!
Looks truly aren’t everything and many couples have proved that theory correct. I don’t care what you look like or how heavy you are or even how much you love someone. I feel that people should first become happy with themselves and then they WILL find someone to make their heart bounce. If you stay in your rut then yes, go ahead and settle. If you don’t feel you’re attractive enough to find the one, it will show what little value you place on yourself. The problem begins within not on appearance. Yes, I’m sure it’s easier for attractive people to find dates. However, that just means they’re going to fail more unless they’re happy with themselves first. Being happy with yourself can be achieved by people of all shapes and sizes.
So thank you Ally McBeal for making me think but at the same time—screw you for convincing me for a moment, that it makes sense for some people to settle. I do NOT think ANYONE should settle. Not at all. Nor is it fair to anyone involved. Respect yourself a little bit more and aim high. Everyone’s heart should “bounce” for the person they choose to marry. It’s all in the attitude you choose to carry.