Tuesday, April 26, 2011
No Games Here
It was recently told to me that I play “lovers games”. I cannot express enough how much this phrase pissed me off. This statement came about because in the past year or so I have dated a few different guys. How this relates to playing games I’m not sure though. To imply that just because I’ve had different boyfriends means I’m just playing around is absurd and offensive. In fact I do just the opposite. If I were playing games then I’d still be dating them. That’s the difference though… I know what I want and if I don’t get it, then I move on. I don’t see what’s wrong with that. How am I supposed to find someone who is right for me if I don’t date different people?? Am I supposed to latch on to the first thing that shows interest in me and never let him go whether or not he meets up to my standards?! Again, this is crazy talk. Do I have high standards? Damn straight. I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t unless maybe they offer less than that themselves. Well I don’t. I’ve spent a long time thinking that I was undateable. I’d get the same complaints guy after guy. Finally I decided that the complaints that they had weren’t because I’m a bad person but rather that our personalities didn’t mesh well enough. So that’s what I’ve come up with. I AM a dateable person I just needed to be happy being me and doing my own thing for long enough to realize that and embrace it. And then when the time was right, someone would come along who not only allows me to be myself but who GETS me. That time came a lot sooner than I thought it would but I’m happy that it did. For once I feel secure and loved unconditionally. For once I feel at peace and just all around happy. There is nothing quite as great as knowing I can be myself, bad parts and all, and know that my boyfriend isn’t going to walk on eggshells, isn’t going to ridicule me or overly praise me, isn’t going to ignore me, and certainly isn’t going to leave me. Am I glad that I dated before meeting him? Absolutely. For if I hadn’t our timing wouldn’t have been right. Did I play with people’s hearts in order to get where I’m at today? Of course not. I hold people’s feelings in a high regard. And in return people need to be positive and happy for me. I’m tired of the “good lucks” and the “be cautious” and the implications that my life and others’ is some kind of game for me. It’s not. Not that I have to prove myself to anyone but if people are truly my friends perhaps they should think a little bit more before making light of something I take so seriously. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time now and don’t need the approval of anyone. What I need is for people to trust that I know what is best for me and leave it at that.