Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Family is Relative
Love can change but real love shouldn’t dissipate. If you are a good person and you make effort, love can last. I am proof of this. I dated Jeromy for around 5 years. In that time I became very close to his parents. In fact, everyone who meets them instantly adores them. Lee and Jeanette Graves are the coolest, kindest people around. And they love to spoil you when you go out for a visit :) Needless to say I felt love for them both and still do. And I know they love me too. Things become tricky when a relationship breaks up however. It didn’t matter to me though, I loved the Graves’ and I was going to continue to. I have not stayed in touch with them as often as I would like to but I still do to some degree. And in fact, I’m way overdue for a visit. They have the best place to get-away from the city life and just relax, play games, and have a great time. In addition to staying in contact with Jeromy’s parents, I remain friends with some of his cousins and his brother. A lot of people say that it’s weird or say “Why would you do that?” and to them I say, “Why wouldn’t I?” Just because things didn’t work out with Jeromy and I doesn’t mean I have to cut all ties with people I grew to love. Of course Jeromy is okay with this too. He has even grown to become one of my best friends.
Then came James. Him and I dated on and off for 3 years. There was a brief amount of time we were engaged as well so it was a good thing I got along so well with his family. His mom and step-dad, Nancy and Carlos Colvin, accepted me from the beginning, even though James told me they probably wouldn’t, which I still find funny. I always felt welcomed around them though. The same goes for his brothers and sisters…things were always comfortable. So it is no surprise that I remain close to them and love them as I would any of my friends. They have always made clear that it doesn’t matter what ends up happening with James and I (meaning if we end up not being friends) I am always welcome in their home. This means so much to me! And in fact, I had the pleasure of visiting with them last night. It had definitely been too long.
There are other interesting relationships I have with people due to ex’s of mine. Kacy is a good example of that. My ex boyfriend’s ex wife. It’s still fun to tell people that. I also remain close to all the people in Phoenix I know because of Jeromy. I am still their friend and am still welcome to gatherings they have. They didn’t disregard me as a person just because he and I broke up. And then there’s Connor. How awesome is it that I still get to be such a big part of Connor’s life?! I have Kacy to thank for this. I made a promise to that kid that I would always love him and that’s exactly what I plan on doing. So what if people think it’s weird. I think it’s weird to cut all ties once a relationship goes sour. It makes no sense to me. It feels like an elementary school mentality. You know, when you dislike someone, you tell all your friends to hate them too. Makes sense for young kids to think this is appropriate but for adults?! I don’t think so.
When I welcome someone into my life and grow to love them I mean that forever. Unless there are other circumstances that cause us to drift apart I certainly won’t let that happen based on my relationship status alone! People can think it’s weird or uncommon but for me it’s just the opposite. It is VERY common and remains comfortable for me to remain close to these people. They obviously love me as a person as I do them. And I wouldn’t want to lose that for the world.