There are certain things I’ll never win at. For instance…when I get upset and have something on my mind that I need to talk about…I need to talk about it NOW. Some space and time is okay but not much. You see, if you put it off and I have to go around carrying my thoughts until YOU’RE ready it only makes things worse. I am not someone that benefits from letting things wait, where as most people (guys in particular) calm down with time. I do the opposite. What does this mean?? Well, I usually have to wait to talk even though I’d feel so much better doing so way sooner. You see, you can hide from me so I can’t talk to you but I can’t force someone TO talk. So I lose. Every time. You get to calm your thoughts and do whatever else it is you need to do while pushing me to the side while I get to suffer…growing more and more anxious and angry. You don’t care though because you just do what’s best for YOU. There will never be any compromise on this and I think it sucks. I understand that the risks are that you might say something you don’t mean because you are upset…well guess what? I just might do the same thing if we wait!
So what is the compromise??
I’ll give you some time, but I’m talking hours…not days. Studies show that after 40 minutes someone is almost always calmed down if not stimulated and just left alone. I’ll give you that and then some! That should be enough time to make sure you don’t slip and say something you’ll regret later. And if it’s not well then, we’ll deal with it. That’s my compromise. I’d much rather talk NOW but out of respect for you and what works best for you, I’ll give you space as long as you give me communication thereafter and not days from the incident. Why can no one do this?! I really think its bullshit. But again, I can’t force someone to talk but they sure as hell can avoid me until they’re ready so by default I get to be the one who suffers when it comes to communication.