Monday, March 28, 2011
My focus is all over the place lately. There is some family drama that is causing me a ton of unwelcomed stress. This has caused my diet and exercise structure to turn to shit. I have continued to run but that’s about it. Instead of working out, I meet up with friends for dinner and drinks. Granted, I have always done this but it’s usually only post-workout and not a replacement. So my weight has gone up a tad and my mood and esteem of myself has gone down the toilet. I ran my first ever ½ marathon yesterday though. As much as my running has sucked lately, I somehow felt exceptionally well during the race and finished faster than I thought I would! I’m still very slow so it took me 2:46:30 to finish but for me, that’s good. This course was difficult as it was full of hills. I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me a little that no one came out to support me. I guess I got spoiled on the full I ran in January. At least I had my teammates- Bertha, Myrna, Sara, and Marsha. We all ended up coming in at different times but we congratulated each other just the same. It is true that I run for ME but if I ran alone AND there was no one there to say “Congratulations!” at the end, I’m not sure I would keep it up. Maybe I would but it would be a lot more difficult to motivate myself and stay on track so to speak. I’m not upset that no one came out…I know that people have things going on, I guess I was just a little sad. My mood has not been great lately and it’s a lot harder to keep myself smiling. Good thing running makes me feel so good! I didn’t let it keep me down. I went and picked up some food and headed home to soak in the tub for a while. Just like with any sport…people can’t show up to cheer you on all the time for your event. You have to be able to cheer yourself on and do well for your own satisfaction. I mean, it feels great to finish something that’s so difficult for me whether or not there are any external people there to share it with. I just need to remember not to take it personally and know that people do support me whether or not they’re there. Hopefully soon this drama I’ve been dealing with will go away and I’ll be feeling like myself again.