The Shanty

The Shanty
where I grew up

Monday, March 7, 2011

Feelings Are Reality

You can’t take away someone’s feelings. Something that really bothers me that I see people doing a lot is trying to take away the hurt and pain someone is feeling. I hear “just remember it could always be worse” and “here you are complaining when your problems aren’t half as bad as so-and-so’s”. Well I think these statements are crap. There will always be someone worse off then you as well as someone better off. Does that mean you can’t enjoy your good times or feel bad about the hard times?! Of course not. No one likes someone who brags and steals the spotlight. Well I equally don’t like it when someone tries to belittle my feelings of sadness or being scared or any other “less than happy” emotion. They are MY feelings, let me feel them. I do the same for others. I don’t always understand people’s emotions. I wish I did but I don’t. I do however have compassion for people. I believe that every person is good. Evil does not exist and therefore everyone has the right to feel however they want about whatever they want. Do not try to lessen the pain because it’s not as big of a deal as someone else’s problems. All I know is MY OWN life and if that means I’m distraught about something, I should be able to feel that way without being made to feel bad about getting upset over something you might think is petty. Everyone’s problems are real problems if that’s the way they feel. You can’t take away someone’s feelings so please don’t try.


  1. Aim, I literally had a converstaion with my niece right after the horrible Tucson shootings. Someone said with all that has happened, dont whine. To put it quick. I said almost word for word what you just said. People say it to me alot. You know because of where I am on the spectrum of "shitty days". They say ," I shouldn't be whining to you because all you have been through" Oh do I strongly DISLIKE that statement. My problems are just that. MINE. They in no way over shadow anothers. Everyone has a right to have their feelings validated and respected. I have said that about ones fights with their signifigant other. No one needs to be right and the other wrong. Both are human w/ feelings. Just validate those feelings and understand no 2 people will "feel" the same way as another. We can only empathize, (if we can) or simply put away our egos and respect those around you and hope they return that same respect when you stub your toe or break a nail. Anything that may seem small to others isn't always so. Good writing Aim. Miss you!

  2. "I feel that you were trying to kill me."
    The above quote has been said by many people cut off on the road by another driver. (The "idiot" driver may not have even seen you, much less want to kill you!) I know of ex-wives who thought their lives were in danger from their husbands when he had NO such intent or idea. Your feelings do not make or determine reality.
    Yes, your feelings are real. But you should NOT make decisions based on your feelings. Best example: "I feel I am so in love with him. I want to marry him." ...Even though he has a prison record for wife abuse, drugs, and armed robbery. Use your head lady. Not your heart.
    Feelings are NOT reality.