Anyone who knows me knows that I am a blunt person. I don’t believe in beating around the bush and speaking in hidden meanings. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. If something is bothering me I will speak up about it. If I feel uncomfortable, I will let you know. The alternative would be to just deal with things even though it would cause me discomfort all to spare your feelings. Wait…hold on… It’s not to spare the other person’s feelings! It’s to spare your own feelings! Think about it…
Let’s say you have a friend- “Brutus” that likes to talk your ear off on the phone and it bores you to no end. Instead of saying “Hey Brutus…you bore me” you will often say nothing. Instead you avoid Brutus’ calls all while letting other people know that Brutus bores the shit out of you. Your friends will laugh and say “Yeah, that Brutus sure does know how to talk.”
How are you sparing Brutus’ feelings by not being honest??? What you’re actually doing is avoiding telling him the truth because it’s hard to be honest sometimes. Being honest makes YOU uncomfortable. However, you would rather sit there and “make fun of” Brutus to others thinking it’s no big deal. I think that’s awful. And this is why I like to tell people how I feel.
This does not come without a huge backlash however. I realize that I am not the norm when it comes to expressing the truth. People tell me all day long that they want me to be honest with them. They laugh when they hear of a time I was honest with someone else and say “Wow. That’s so cool you are able to do that!” BUT when it’s their turn to get a dose of honesty they are no longer laughing. They no longer think I’m cool for telling it how I see it. They get hurt. They get offended. They get defensive. They get every which way but grateful and appreciative. This has caused me to try to be subtle when letting people know how I feel. I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings! But if they still don’t get it I will come right out and say it. I don’t see any other way to handle things while still respecting them as a person. Does this sometimes make me uncomfortable though? YES! I don’t want to be viewed as the “bad guy” or as a “bitch” because I’m not those things. I just don’t see why I should have to go on being uncomfortable or bothered by something just because it’s difficult to tell the truth. Just because in doing so I sometimes hurt people.
I hope everyone who knows me knows that I can take it as well as I can dish it, so to speak. If I bother you…tell me! Constructively would be preferred but even without suggestions and examples I would rather you tell ME I suck then avoid me and go behind my back and tell everyone else.