I think I have learned that guys will say ANYTHING to keep from hurting a girl. And it’s our jobs to interpret it and respect ourselves enough to not put up with anything less than what we deserve. It’s a pattern with me…I’m told, “You’re my dream girl. I’m not interested in anyone but you. But I think you deserve better than I can give you right now… our timing is off” more times than I care to admit. I want to believe that statement but how can I?! It sounds like a very polite way of getting rid of me. If I say, “It’s okay. I’ll take whatever you can give me,” how can I expect the guy to respect me if I show so little respect to myself? I think they want me to say, “You’re right I deserve more. Thank you for being honest with me. I want to remain friends.” Why can’t a guy just say “Hey…sorry to tell you but I don’t like you enough to give it my all,” that’s really what it’s about right?? I’m not their dream girl! It’s funny because I know of guys who would do anything for me. Guys who would love to have the chance to date me and show me what I’m worth. Why don’t I ever give those guys a chance?? Maybe they’re not bold and assertive enough for me, I don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t like being the one to be forced to be the “bad guy” and end things yet this is always what I have to end up doing. Are men that “cowardly” that they can’t be honest with me? Instead I feel they say things to make it seem like they’re nice and honest and are doing me a favor but telling me how great and wonderful I am and polite to give me the choice of what I want. This is such bullshit to me. Maybe because I’ve heard it so many times that I don’t know what or who to believe anymore! Is it a control issue that guys have? They only want me if it’s on their terms?? And if so, that doesn’t seem very respectful to me. I mean, I must be doing something wrong as a girlfriend. I’m not sure what it is though because all I’m ever told is how great I am! How am I supposed to improve if people won’t tell me what it is I do wrong?! I am just trying to understand better why I always find myself in the same situation time and time again. What do you guys think? I am really bad at reading between the lines because the way I conduct myself, people don’t have to do that with things I say so I don't know how to do it with them.
I'm not badmouthing or exposing anyone here either. I'm just trying to understand myself better, that's all. I'd appreciate comments to show the same consideration.