The Shanty

The Shanty
where I grew up

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Night in Hell

I got into Kacy’s car a little reluctant that my car still wasn’t fixed. I learned of how she lost all of her life insurance due to a windshield repair. Apparently if you don’t have the funds to pay for mechanical work, they can take money from your life insurance leaving you with nothing. I wasn’t too concerned since I don’t have a husband or kids but I did feel bad for her. It didn’t seem fair. Neither was the fact that I stayed in a burning building last night.

Erin took me to the loft where the man lived that was fixing my car. He had it for several days so there was no reason it shouldn’t be fixed by now. We showed up and I asked him for my keys. He tried explaining that he was still waiting for some parts, etc., etc… but I knew he was just giving me the run around. I needed my car. I screamed at him to, “Give me my FUCKING keys!” He still refused. Erin tried to calm me down and the man said if we wanted to wait he’d go get my car. I have been extra emotional lately and this situation was no different.

While we waited we decided to play a game that was set up in the loft. You take eggs, put them in a chute and watch as they run through an obstacle course exploding different barriers. The point is to destroy everything while having your egg land safely at the end. I was not having very good luck as my egg cracked every time. Erin discovered that if you punched a staple in the base of the egg the explosions were greater and her egg never broke. I thought I would try but I was too rough with the stapler and kept breaking my egg. I was clearly frustrated. After several attempts I finally got a staple in and decided to add some lighter fluid to make for better explosions. Finally! My egg made it through unscathed. The loft didn’t have as much luck.

I noticed a tiny fire erupt and at first it made me laugh. Then it began to grow and jump to different areas. This was not good. I grabbed the fire extinguisher from the wall and begin spraying. The extinguisher wasn’t working properly though and the fire spread. I screamed at Erin to call the fire department. While we waited I tried feverishly to put out the fires while she sat and watched. The fires would go away for a while but then reappear stronger and hotter than ever. I was confident Jason wouldn’t be showing up on that fire truck as we were not in his district. I was too embarrassed to see someone I knew. And once again, my luck was not good.

I was right, Jason wasn’t there but in walked Tony and about 4 people I knew from Page. They came up calmly and didn’t seem to care that I was coughing from smoke inhalation. They stood around and talked to each other and Erin for what felt like forever while I continued to try to stop the fire. I was confused. Finally the captain informed me that these fires were going to continue to reappear so someone would have to stay overnight to fight them. He told me that he doesn’t get paid enough for that so it would have to be me. He explained that unless I wanted to be sued for destroying someone’s property I would have to. They armed me with another fire extinguisher, closed all the windows so no air could get in and instructed me to stay close to the ground. They waved and drove off, with Erin.

I was so dizzy and fell in and out of consciousness for the remainder of the night. In the fires I saw much of my past…it was haunting me and I felt so alone. I couldn’t understand how all of this was happening to me. All I wanted was my car back. The fires seemed to be under control and I began to scream for the asshole that had my car. That’s when I realized my keys had been in that room the whole time. I grabbed them and went searching for my car. I found it! I began to drive away but didn’t make it very far. I broke down before even exiting his property. I was fucked. Feeling completely helpless and hopeless I called Kacy to come pick me up. The fire seemed to finally be gone and I just wanted to go home.

I never did get my car back. I never did get my self worth back either. I had spent the night in hell and just wanted to sleep to try to forget it all. Ironically I was already sleeping. It was now 5:30 and my alarm was sounding in my ear…


  1. From a Dream Dictionary: interesting!

    Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolize destruction, passion, desire, illumination, purification, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering into your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, then it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. The dream may be a metaphor for someone who is "fiery". It represents your drive, motivation, and creative energy. Alternatively, the dream may be warning you of your dangerous or risky activities. You are literally "playing with fire".

    To dream that you put out a fire, signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort. If you are setting a fire to something or even to yourself, then it indicates that you are undergoing some great distress. You are at the brink of desperation and want to destroy something or some aspect of yourself.

    Fire Extinguisher:
    To see or use a fire extinguisher in your dream, suggests that you are trying to get your emotions under control. Alternatively, the dream means that you need to let go of whatever anger you are still holding on to.

    To see something burning in your dream, indicates that you are experiencing some intense emotions and/or passionate sexual feelings. There is some situation or issue that you can no longer avoid and ignore. Alternatively, it may suggest that you need to take time off for yourself and relax. Perhaps you are you feeling "burned out" or "burned up".

  2. Wow! I often envy people who have such vividly detailed dreams, I sleep like the dead and only ever have reoccurring dreams of the past. Perhaps your friend with the dream dictionary above is right...your subconscious may be trying to tell you something...